Life, Love, and Disaster

I don't think that I ever looked at love the way that other people did. Oh I had fun. I laughed, cried, and moved on. Sometimes it took a little longer than others, but hey, that's life. When did love get serious? When did questions regarding the future begin to arise. Oh not the silly forever and ever thing, but the planning in your mind. Trying to figure out what magical combinations of two people will produce beautiful kids. Well not really kids, that 's kind of far; but when does the look out change from having someone to hang out on the weekends to wanting someone to cook for you.

Oh love started out slow. I admit i had bad taste in the beginning. Why anyone would go "out" with anyone who constantly kept a train of snot running down their nose is beyond me. I was young and clueless. So then their was 3rd grade, Chicago, and Terrell. I was the new kid in town and he asked me out the first day I was in class. I have to admit that I like a guy who knows what he wants. Monroe was 4th grade; I broke up with him because I was ashamed when he went to detention. :P 5th grade-7th grade were streams of two week relationships with people I can no longer picture in my head (not shallow, just young).

Roderick was a little bit of 8th grade and a little bit of freshmen year; my first taste of being walked to every single class, holding hands, and talking on the phone till I had to get off at 9:30--oh the woes of a 15 year old. He adored me, but I honestly didn't know. He told me that when I found somebody I really cared about, they would leave and I would feel the way that he did. ouch! The rest of freshmen year and little bit of sophomore year my heart would belong to a certain Rey Rey. It was most romantic because he lived across the street. It was tragic because he wouldn't talk to me on the phone! He literally left me speechless and when I think of him now no words seem adequate. Oh sweet 16... He's when relationships started to matter. Tommy needs no explanation. He was everything that I wanted, but nothing that I could have. We were both pathetic...bumming rides to each others games when they were 2 hours away. Oh so sweet yet oh so not. Haha...but boy could he tell dirty jokes.

So then it seems I should be at a point in my life where I'm ready for mature relationships if not already in it. I had a little stream of "oh guys don't matter" and proceeded to flirt my ass off. Interesting situations. So that left Greg, Jeff, Coddy, that one guy that used to follow me to Whataburger. I think I realized that guys suck!!! And that I should have ONE good one. So then I could talk to Mike. The first intellectual; i mean conversation was literally orgasmic. Haha. But I couldn't keep up. Not mature enough *sigh*.

So now I look up and laugh. No. Giggle. But now I guess I combination of all would be perfect but I don't want perfect, because I'm not. I'm only left to look back and wonder what's next.