The picnic was nice.

The Lake.
Racing up the hill.
A tunnel.
Black American Softball.
Firefighter building.
Piggyback.
Skipping rocks (dismal failure)
Home-cooked meal.
Heavenly bath water.

*sigh* I'm afraid that I'll wake up and it'll be a dream. *sigh*

Being blogger happy today I guess....


She said it and made me think. I think that she's right.

If fear of rejection is stronger than fear of losing someone you love, then you deserve to lose that person.

****

class was a doozy. Only made me think.

you do not know the rules
I am not a morning person
8:30, 9:00, 9:30 - morning
cute...but not that cute

Have I given up?

yes...no...maybe...

It was too easy.
she's there.
Friendship is nice.

****

I called you back...haha...
yes I give up.

Back in Austin... *sigh*

sitting and thinking about the last couple of days...

****

It was nice meeting you... really nice...

to go back...
or
not to go back...

That is the question!

2 hardback books

$1.00

HAPPY!!! :P

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple

skinny dipping

Thanx Antoni'A you are a lifesaver.
****
everything is gonna work out with summer school after all.
I love my daddy.
I can't believe how much better I feel with stress off my shoulders!

sunny day!!!
...not really, but it's sunny in my book I'm reading...
yayyy!

I can't believe I believed
Everything we had would last
****
Silly of me to dream of
****
Me myself and I
That's all I got in the end
That's what I found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend

I don't believe in love anymore

post on my facebook wall:

"Lec-leeeeeeeeeee what up lil mama just markin up ya wall this facebook thing is kind of cool i guess. i really miss yall somebody needs to bring they azz home sometime!!!! you know just cuz you live there dont make you from there you is a country azz bama "gal" yea i said "you is" anyway keep doing what you do and call ya cuz sometime ok. halla back lil m. "

Ahh...I miss "home"

I didn't drop the ball with you. Balance...people. Not what I meant. You mean more to me than that.
****

I'm scared to hope.

I can't sleep...

I'm sorry that I hurt you. It's hard to balance all the people in my life right now.

I'm sorry that I hurt you...

You put your shorts on backwards!

HaHa :P

Today..well yesterday (last night) went skating on a skating rink.
No, not rollerblading.
Skating.

Four wheels
Stopper on Front
Cute boots

It was so much fun. I think the last time I skated in actual skates, I was in the second grade and I could adjust the skates to my foot size.

Thanx Tosh Joseph :P

Happy Birthday DeeDee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love You!

If you're interested in Marketing or just business strategy in general...try Marketing Warfare it's such a great book.

I think that I am afraid. A coward if you will...

Not a statement of shame...more...fact

My feelings are so raw...
I can't even explain it on paper.

That's a first.

Sad does not describe how I feel.

Hollow.

laughing is easier than crying.

The hurt feels all the same in the end.

Many people mistake cowardice for low self-esteem.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish Take a chance Make a change
And breakawayOut of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a changeAnd breakaway
--Breakaway

Courtney told me that I seem free. When she looked at me, it was as if she didn't recognize me. Am I that different. I guess all a person needs is time and prayer.

Yay...I'm making it

New Semester.

New Year.

Same Me

If you search
you'll never find
a love like

my love

Aint no feeling like being free
When your mind's made up
And your heart's in the right place
Aint no feeling like being free
When youve done all you could
But whats misunderstood

I'm through with it
I'm finally giving it up
I've given so much in the past
for a love I never had

Its so funny that it makes me cry.
I want you to see
but you dont want to see.
I cant reach you. and it hurts

You tell me you love me, but
...I think you really believe that you do.

You dont give when it matters.
Im so frustrated.
The funny thing is... you dont see it

or you don't care

*sigh*

I continue to change.
to amaze and question myself.
sometimes I'm sad
I question me.
me.

I uploaded pictures on my computer and decided that they are too old to share without going too far in the past...

*sigh*

Will take new pictures and keep up with the times.

Oh I am so ashamed. What a horrible blogger I am.
Sigh...

I think I'll make it up to you by actuall loading and posting some pictures...
How about that?

Good!

I wonder if it will ever leave my mind
I try to see both sides and be glad that it worked out

but...

I can't help but be disappointed.
To wonder what would have happened if I didn't go
Would there be no more?

I fought...I'm glad I did...
Every girl hopes that he would fight for her
Maybe I should just be satisfied.

My birthday is next tuesday...not really excited

I'm so sad.

I wonder if I want things to work too bad.
Maybe I should just look at all the clues.

Oh it hurts.
I'm so sad.

I have to be away from home so that home feels so good!

Happy Halloween! (It is halloween right? hmmm...)

There is a reason why I blog less and less...
I get lost in my own thoughts...
hmmm...

why must we argue over the same things just to make up and go back again.

Can't get it right when no one thinks they are wrong.

I'm wondering if my sense of well-being depends on communication with my self. I seem to have left this step out of my life. I don't seem to have time for the important things anymore. The things that keep me grounded and happy.

I don't make time...
confusion keeps me in limbo.

So almost halfway through semester.

Volleyball
Peer counselor (job..yayyy!)
Business Ambassador
Grades (have potential)

Hmm...I guess I'm doing better than I thought

Why am I so real?
But they don't understand me
I really don't know the truth

I lack the motivation for expression.

I don't think my heart is into blogging anymore. I think I might stop

:-(

My heart...poor thing

sometimes the smallest things are also the sweetest things :D

Hmmm...goood day!!

Jason's Deli
Lunch with Foley's chairperson
90 on French quiz
egg rolls
fun with Toya!!!

Yayy!

rain = good
getting caught in the rain = bad

You're the air that I breathe
The perfect one for me

but...

My friend talking about his wife... "I have a 19 year old kid.'

Baby boy you stay on my mind

You know that I'm just the kind of girl that feels so hurt and smiles

Now you
Saying I complete your dreams
Now you saying
I'm your everything

***********

Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

So I've found my passion...
wow...scarey stuff.

So maybe I do want it.
Or at least I think I do.
Yeah I know I want it.
But do I want it now?
Do I need it now?

*sigh*

I'm not too bad of a slacker...I'm just not feeling the love for my computer at the moment. :(

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

I am lost.

Just waiting to be found...

Well now I've seen Jesse and Claudia. Two more..there's April and ummm oops I think I forgot. It'll come back to me soon. Who says that UT is such a big campus. Who would have thought.

Yayyyy good to see you two!!! Hope you have a great first year...

Okay
Back to studying *sigh*

Hmmm... I'm in love...

I was in love yesturday.and the day before.it has been some time now.

Hmmm...I'm in love...

Well I did get something done last night. :) So very proud of my kinda sorta productive self. yayy for Alexis.


**************


Well... do you think ordering school supplies off of the internet is nerdy???
yeah yeah...kinda figured

I feel like a little kid trying to play grownup.

Slacker blogger that I am...

God please help me have a peace of mind.

Back to school once again...yayyy!

I want.
I'm scared to have.
and then lose.

I'm angry and sad.
Emotions take away from the energy to act.

But when I'm happy...
I see rainbows...wonderous miracles.

Happy Birthday Momma!
Happy Birthday Daddy!

I love you!

So I'm in Austin and I've settled in
*sigh*

Now I need a system....

I have too much time on my hands...
hmmm...
I need a passion...along with a job.

volunteer tutor.business ambassador.intramural volleyball.[insert passion here].[insert job here]. *sigh*

I'm back in Austin!! I feel a deep feeling of satisfaction. I'm okay, not bleeding...

All good.

Now...to venture out of my safetly zone...

Goals for this week:

1. Actively look for a Job
2. Accept Texas Exes Invitation
3. Go to UT and see what is going on...plan to go to go to 3 events.

Safety is so nice...but it's too easy.

My emotions are so thick in my head.
I can't pick them out to write.
So tangled.
No energy to untangle.

It's like being caught in a spider's web.
The more I wrangle to be free.
I tangle even more.

Happy Birthday Tosh!

What a lazy day...
speeches speeches

Rose makes me feel better.

I'm scared about going back to Austin too...in fact I'm petrified!

I'm so sad...my heart hurts :-(

I'm not perfect. I'm not sure if I try to be. I don't do I?

Logical. That's what I try to be. But logic runs into truth sometimes (or so it seems)

I don't know what's going on anymore. I don't know my own truth.

Sometimes it's the last person that makes you first

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Sometimes a stranger can be your best friend

Michael and Mykia are here :D

I don't like people who complain and complain and never do anything about it.

I tell people this...Don't ask for my advice if you're not going to even consider what I have to say.


So...
Alexis...
Do something!

So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window I see light doing dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me

Speech day...went well!

Oh what I would give to have a clear state of mind.

I'm so tired...

Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself,
under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one's own self.
-Erich Fromm

We don't love qualities, we love persons;
sometimes by reason of their defects as well as
of their qualities.
-Jacques Jacques Maritain

My body feels when something is wrong.
Something is wrong.
It frustrates me when something is always wrong.
Talk to me. Help me fix it.

Not knowing sucks :-(

Birthday is coming up...
I'm excited... it's not mine.

I hope you like it...
The day, not the gift--
although I hope you like that too.

The gift is special too.
...Birthday surprises :D

timing is everything...

Every time I want to let go and be myself again.
A turtle ready to stick its head out.

This happens.
I duck my head back into safety.

Safety isn't safe anymore. What to do now.

A brick wall.
Just won't move.
uhhhh.

ooohhh lala..the days go by

*sigh* I wish I had a swing in my backyard
so I could feel the wind...and maybe believe like I once did
that one day I would reach the sky.

*smile*

There they go running!!!! I don't think these girls live on my street.

Ha! The funniest thing! These girls from down the street were ringing our doorbell and running off. But that's not the funny part; they didn't care if we saw them and took pictures. They just seemed to liked our doorbell! Hehehe to be that young again :D

How the days do fly...

*sigh* Off work...got nothing done.

Bad Alexis

For some reason I'm amazingly happy...

I think it's you.

Sagittarius & Leo
The Fire signs Leo and Sagittarius pursue the same goals, and can succeed in allying their strengths instead of competing. Optimistic, generous, and romantic, they understand and love each other with both passion and tenderness. They indulge in life's pleasures to the fullest, laughing unabashedly and egging each other on. Sagittarian criticism may sometimes hurt the Leo's feelings, but forgiveness will soon be forthcoming. The Lion is aware of his sacred complicity with the Centaur-Archer. Together, they reach the heights of bliss.

Beaumont was great...I got to see a piece of you.

Gumbo.Bootleg movies.Daycare kids.Bike Rides.Picture Booths.Dippin Dots.Logan's.Friends. Family.Disney Cartoons.Me.You.*Smile*