Nowhere to go.

Repost

Who’s got a shoulder when I need to cry
I feel restless and I don't know why
Cry for help, but still feel alone
Like a motherless child along way from home
Lord I'm lost I can't find my way
I'm dealing with the struggles in my day to day
My soul is weak and I wanna be strong
I try to run away but I've been running to long

“My Better is Better Than Your Better”

At want point do bad habits become plain ole personality traits?

It might seem that a habit must be overcome and one must work harder and better.  But what if it is not possible because it is not actually a bad habit but just an unfortunate personality trait.

Then a few questions may arise:

Was this a bad habit that turned into a personality trait and a persons norm?

OR

Was this always a personality trait that was mistakenly believed to be just “something to work on?”

OR

Is a personality trait and bad habit one and the same?

In other words…

Can you make your better better than my better?  Can you make your better just as good as my better?  Or did your better never have a chance and expectations should be adjusted accordingly?

You can only have one domicile, but you can have more than one dwelling house or abode.

#whateverhappenedto Love and Happiness?

Who Are You?

Dr. Jekyll.

or

Mr. Hyde.

or

???

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Sometimes I feel like

I'm almost gone

Sometimes I feel like

I'm almost gone

Sometimes I feel

like I'm all alone

A long way from home.

Why?

I never learn.

Human Nature

Get me out
Into the night-time
Four walls wont hold me tonight
If this town
Is just an apple
Then let me take a bite

Save Me From Myself

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin
But you're the truth

My love is tainted by your touch
Cuz some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
to myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

Wasted

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Love Quotes

(was reading through previous posts and felt the need to repost a special one because it caused a smile)

 

"I'm starting with the Man in the River."

"Can you not use up my blinker."

"I'm going to buy a regulation luffa."

Wedding

Floating on air.  Happy sharing from your part.  Savoring the moment…

Does it count if you only find out the important stuff through twitter?

Food for Thought

PRIORITIES... Sometimes people never figure out how to get them in order no matter how old they are or lessons supposedly learned.

Institute #3:

12...then 11. Pre-work.then...Springwork.then...Week 0 Prep.then...Work. Surveys. Meetings. RFOC. Hot sweltering classrooms. MJ. A-Team. Definitely Davis. Davis Team. Chuy's. ODCs. Schilliterbahn. LPCs. Flood. Action Plans. Wild West. BBQ. Chants. Big Goals. OERs (again). Mimosas. The Den. Tequila Sunrise. Paper. Breakfast tacos. Blanca. Keypoints.

Who’s got a shoulder when I need to cry
I feel restless and I don't know why
Cry for help, but still feel alone
Like a motherless child along way from home
Lord I'm lost I can't find my way
I'm dealing with the struggles in my day to day
My soul is weak and I wanna be strong
I try to run away but I've been running to long

...Oh not really. I just couldn't help myself. I literally laughed out loud (notice I spelled all the words out).

Love doesn't last when you don't respect the other person.

How To Not Get Your Feelings Hurt

Read and memorize the post on “How to not get Disappointed.”

Rinse and Repeat.

How to Not be Disappointed

• Do not have high expectations of others. People should not be expected to:
• Do the right thing
• Add value to their community
• Avoid illegal activities no matter the situation
• Wake up before 1:00 p.m.
• Try not to convey your wants/needs to other people
• Do not push others to be better. They will only think you are judging them.
• Do not be surprised if others do not push themselves to be better. We are on this earth to make ourselves happy no matter what it may take to do this.
• Do not expect others to do what they say they will do.
• Try no to be frustrated when adults act like kids. It is their right to avoid responsibility.
• Remember that there are people out there with little kid tendencies inside them and whom can still take care of business/responsibilities.
• Forget that you do not know any of those people.
• Do not expect others to help you to be a better person.
• Do not expect others to be driven or focused.
• Do not expect others to think before acting. Life is not fun unless you are allowed to make bad decisions over and over again.
• Expect that people will only call when they need something. Everyone needs something—except you. Do not expect others to help with your needs.
• Do not get upset when people start doing something for you and then quit. Smile gratefully when they tell you to finish it yourself.
• Do not expect the people you love to love you back. Do not believe it if they say they love you. If you think they do not mean it. They do not.
• Do not expect people to be there when they say the will
• Do not expect intelligent conversation from others. Better yet, do not expect intelligence from others.
• Assume mediocrity at all times.

Running through sprinklers.  Accidently.

***********

"It was a lot of work."

Too much work.

***********

Foolishness.  Thinking that this time, it would be my turn.

Frustrating.  Trying to get someone to see anything.

Failure.  How everything always ends up.

***********

Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins.  Pray about it.

***********

No Words...

ME: "So how was --"

YOU: "Help me! Help me! Help me, pleeaaasssseeeee! Help me... So what were you saying?"

ME: "I was only asking --"

YOU: "They are in the bathroom, man. I just saw all of them go into the bathroom... I'm really sorry, I heard you though. You were talking about... ummm... your day? I'm listening."

Our Wedding Website

Mine!!!!!

40 days...

thought healing questions hope achievement challenges

Vacation...

Watched 4 random movies

Guitar Hero

Hung out with Lincoln

Adopted Cafe Asia

Shopped w/o money (I always do)

Walked in the cold (too cute to be warm, I suppose)

Hotel hopped

Picniced in trucks

Introduced Ms. Cold Butt to Mr. Seat Warmer

Little Boy: "Mom, if Michael Phelps can smoke weed, why can't I?"

Mom: "You can, right after you've won 12 gold medals for your country."

Why do I feel so lost?

You can only be so happy until you have to stop, think, and ask yourself "is this real?"

You think about it.

Look at it from all angles.

Then sigh and say to yourself that "it probably isn't."

1. Is it wrong to expect consistency from people?

2. Why can't people be the same on Thursday as they were on Monday?

3. If something is said to be true, is it not expected to be true all the time?

4. Or is truth an illusion that cannot withstand the test of time?


Please support your answers with evidence from the text.

Listening to love songs makes me wish for "Happily Ever After."
I haven't believed in "Happily Ever After" since Mufasa died in The Lion King.

Cornflower Blue...

New Year's Resolutions Promises Hopes
(roughdraft)

1. Become a better writer teacher
Teach writing.

2. Lose weight.
Eat healthy.
Eat fewer slices of pizza.

3. Have patience in the classroom on the road
Increase patience.

4. Be on time. Wake up earlier.
Go to work.

5. Wash my car more often.

Alexandria

i am from trampled brown paper bags left over from drunken stupors
i am from the smell of freshly cut grass wafting in the air on daddy's day off
i am from lost watches that can't tell time
i am from the comfort of favorite pj's and a blanket
i am from homemade ice cream, okra, cornbread, banana pudding, and pepsi
i am from church hats and easter speeches

Jonique

i am from long days and airplanes
i am from daddy's "little girl" and momma's "ladybug"
i am from fresh lemonade at a family barbeque
i am from "Askew" family reunion shirts one size too big
i am from "puddy ruddy" and "fat momma she is so fat" and nicknames
i am from fish who drown and the calming sound of a tank that needs more water


Johnson

"I'm starting with the Man in the River."

"Can you not use up my blinker."

"I'm going to buy a regulation luffa."

Just because you say something "awesome!" doesn't mean people will actually get excited and care.

A word doesn't make something great. "It" has to be great to begin with.

i am tired of the word "awesome."i don't get excited.

thank you.
thank you for being there like only you can.
thank you for being that shoulder to cry on.
thank you for not expecting anything from me.
thank you.

Christmas

right. wrong. whatever.

difference of an opinion.

I can't sleep because my sheets smell like farts.



Me.... shaking my head because I can't believed I just typed that out loud.

the novel.

the one where the bad guy is doing terrible deeds. the super sexy intelligent main character is determined to find the evil antagonist. the protagonist is all alone in their endeavor, left to discover disappointing clues that lead to dead ends. it would all be a wash if it wasn't for the overly helpful friend who mistakenly leaves helpful hints/clues that point right to the mysterious and secretive not so friendly very awkward character. the protagonist trusts the helpful friend to help solve the mystery. they are in it together. best buds. but then it turns out that the helpful friend is the bad guy and the awkward and shy character has a secret crush on the protagonist and wants only to protect the protagonist (but not scare them, while they try to search for the evil bad guy).

so the helpful friend was the bad guy and the somewhat dorky awkward person turned out to be very sweet, intelligent, adventurous, and cute (behind the glasses) good guy. So then the apologetic sexy main character and the endearingly shy and awkward newly discovered good guy feel some sparks and end up together. happily ever after. with a great story to tell their kids. and a gratefulness on what they could have missed out on (or how close they came to their death).

My life. I somehow find myself in the role of the awkward character. no one has yet discovered my many talents and endearingly good qualities. I am waiting for a protagonist to unearth my true nature.

But somehow they are always taken in by the helpful friend that really isn't so helpful.

snow. in houston.

Wasting my breath.

"When you are dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part."

afraid to breathe

night

insincere in my thoughts

inconsistent in my hopes

alone

hmmm...

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich... I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night."

*sigh* the romantic type of answer.

I learned that if you ask this question, you may find out all the negative things about yourself. Not cute.

"When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end."

"How did you put in Alaska as a city?"

"It didn't ask me for a city. uh oh..."

You put in Alaska has a city
...

"okay Ms. I think Alaska is a city"

i want to be the respect that i expect to see in other people

it is one thing to get screwed by people who do not know you
they know of you. but only through the words of someone else
someone else who gets to paint the picture of you

it is another thing entirely to get screwed and disrespected by people who know you
who know of you. who have seen you. who have been helped by you
disrespect of this magnitude cannot be forgiven

i choose to be respectful. i can't say the same for others

By Birthday weekend is going down the crap-hole. This is what happens. It is ill advised for any one person to believe that they should be special without first consulting the schedule of others.

"No matter how good you are to people you know, they'll make you cry sometimes. Sometimes."

My favorite memories of you.

Wedding Crashers and water.
Cheese nips and apologies.
Birthdays and cake.
Warmth.
Schilliterbahn slides.
Spinning towers.

How was your day?

Fine.

Well... anything happen today?

No, not really.

Well...
My eye hurts. And I am a little afraid...
I'm broke. A broken record in my...
Training on Wednesday just seems stupid. It's during my lunch...
My recommendation letters haven't gotten there. I'm not sure...
No one in 4th period signed up to be a Captain. Today Daniel...
They don't know anything. They aren't learning. Why...
I'm tired of...
I feel...
How...


Yeah, today was a pretty good day.

I don't know.

Are you an old friend? Somehow a new friend?
Are you cold porridge? Hot porridge? Or am I wishing for just right?
I don't know where to put you. But I didn't forget.

I just don't know.

Halloween.
cleaning.Davis.costumes.late packages. banana.airports.old friends.tattoos.new friends.chilli.Marie Antoinette. decorations.Romeo & Juliet.traffic.lady bug.candy.pumpkin. forgotten prizes.green juice.PDS.Alamo drafthouse. Chuys.food. football.Dorothy.laughing. games.Ver J.J.naughty school girl.Saw V.toga.Sex and the City.P.F.Changs.R&B chick.pictures. marachas.sleep.

New friends.

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man.

I’d listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he’s taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

Love letter.

Sleep brings escape, but then there are the dreams. Nightmares.

Everybody was right but me.

"Fundamental" is everyone's favorite word.

Safe. Peace. Love

I LOVE talking to my dad. He's the smartest person I know.

Every day conversations become something to think about. rethink. consider.

The obvious is no longer obvious.

The answer seems within reach.

The stubborness no longer makes sense and therefore has no excuse to linger.

He makes it seem so easy.

I can only aspire to be the same.

"I'll put it back when I am done."

: )

Joe Biden, can I have a hug?

Thinks to do when you are done:

1. Read (Books, Blogs, Online news Websites, Gossip Columns, whatever tickles your fancy)
2. Play your games: Kingdom Hearts, The Sims 2, Guitar Hero the new one comes out 10/28
3. Read (Books, Blogs, Online news Websites, Gossip Columns, whatever tickles your fancy)
4. Apply for Jobs/Careers - Back up plan to the Law school of your choice
5. Save Money
6. Work out - a lot because you have not been in a while (No gym = No excuse)
7. Text and talk to me
8. Watch movies, TV, animal (Birds, squirrels, cats, dogs)
9. Go and visit your brother and mom
10. Get addicted to something else maybe bowling, another television show, or some other hobby
11. Occasionally partake in an alchoholic beverage of choice in moderation of course
12. Dance like there is no tomorrow (You know how you do)
13. Experiment with recipes and cooking (As soon as your fridge is back to normal of course)
14. Highschool sporting events
15. Swimming
16. Hanging out with Sarah in moderation you all do not want to get sick of one another
17. Road trip
18. Write (Blogs, Stories, Essays for Grad Schools)
19. Study for GRE or GMAT if Grad school is an option
20. Clean out your car( trunk included)
21. Prepare yourself for school and your leadership positions (Team lead, coach, etc)
22. Sleep
23. Rest
24. Relax
25. Live the rest of your life

Things to not do when you are done:

1. Get drunk enough to become the point of an akward conversation with guys
2. Go on spendng sprees
3. Sit around doing nothing
4. Anything illegal


This is what I was able to come up with so far
Tosh

Ode to Thursdayness:

"That actually took a while. I had to put- uh, more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight, and then I just took them all out."

"date? dinner & movie, naked & sweaty date?"

Courage is doing what is hard to do.
Courage is doing the best you can with what you can.
Courage is doing what isn't easiest.
Courage is doing what you do not want to do, but need to do.

Courage? Maybe tomorrow? I will do what needs to be done...when I have courage.

Too much coming at me at once... Give me a break.

"It's not the size of the muscle that matters, it's where you get to put it."

Makes me think of my brother. really.

It doesn't feel right. It feels wrong.
Uneasy.

Used to know, but not anymore.
Unnatural.


Want to ask, but asking is the impossible.
Confusing.


Giving up never sounded so good.
Tired.

It doesn't feel right. It feels wrong.
Uneasy.

"I guess he can't get any girls he wants."

If you can't remember what your girlfriend looks like, you should just mark on her arm so you will always know.

"Why don't you burn the plastic helmet?"
plastic helmet = panther head

"Leave room for Jesus."

"We are all different, but in the end, we are all fruit."

"Lambs in kitchen tigers in the bedroom."


Teacher Training...

You broke it.
Why should I have to fix it?
I don't know how to fix it.
It's not fair.
I didn't break it. You did.
You broke it.
You fix it. or you buy it.

Am I still waiting?
Do I know how to stop?
What am I waiting for?
I know what I am waiting for...
But it takes a man to give it to me

A man. I can't say I know how to be a man either.

Questions.
Lies.
Broken phones.
did.
unanswered phone calls.
long gaps.


Things are again.

"Thank God for google images."

lol.

I think that means the answer is no.

Relentless pursuit of results.

Sense of possibility.

Disciplined thought.

Respect and humility.

Integrity.

Non-negotiable:

Ice Cream. Love. Fiber One bars. Sushi. Love. Frozen Yogurt. Thin crust pizza. Taquitos from the Taquito Factory. Love. Stair master. Running (uhh). Scales. Percent Body Fat. Love. CM love. FA love. RRS. Love. Resources. BBQ. Reams of paper. Planning. Copies. Love. Eric's. RFOC. 08. 07. T-shirts. Love. 5 minute Rain storms. Lesson Plans. Love. Missing doors. Bad emails. Shirtless teachers. Love. Gym. Elliptical. Master schedules. Teams. Love. Packing. Moving. Weddings. Love. Rice crispy treats. Peanut brittle. Mirrors. Gas Prices. Love. Resources (you want what?). Observations. Treats. Binders. Love.

Negotiable (apparently):

Me. Love. You. Love. Me and You. Love.

I think when you really care for someone you do whatever it takes to make it work. I don't mean moving to another city. I mean trying over and over to figure out whatever it is that will show a person that you care and will never give up on them and your relationship. You want the relationship and care what happens to it. You ensure hope. You do not fail to act. Your fear of rejection is overpowered by a fear of losing your love, your future, your soul. If you refuse to act, it does not mean you are a coward, but maybe that you do not feel this powerful emotion for that person.

Love a lot. Love completely. Love always.

When you do not feel that strongly for someone. Or. Someone does not feel that for you. You are both settling.

Settling for whats comfortable, easy, and routine. But you are missing out on that person that you can feel that way about or they can feel about you. You are missing out on passion and happiness.

I feel that way for someone. But it is not returned at the same level. If I remain around, I am saying that I am not good enough for that kind of love and am giving up on finding it. Hope of changing the way someone feels about you can only last so long. You can pretend that it's there but you will get that "kick in the face" every once in awhile to remind you of what you are still waiting for.

By leaving, I am at least saying that I am worth it. No, I may never find it. I could end up alone for the rest of my life. But at least I acknowledge my worth and refuse to compromise or settle for just anything.

Excuses are everywhere. When you do not know, you cannot act. I know. Therefore, I must act or face disapointment. I think I also must act so that I am taken seriously. My feelings. My love, wants, needs.

My actions must follow my words.

I got your voicemail today.

The one from that day.

"Hey baby...I just got a phone call...and that should be more than enough and with that being said I'm gone...accept in the next couple of days...that's all I needed...I know you're at work, but I couldn't wait to tell you...it just speaks to how hard they are trying and they really want me to join the team....I don't know how I could pass it up."

I listened again.
And again. The message never changed

The tone. The voice. The excitement.