"Santa Baby"

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, For me.

I've been an awful good girl,

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a drop top C-L-K too, Light blue.

I'll wait up for you dear,Santa baby,

and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,

Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,

Next year I could be oh, so good,

If you'd check off my Christmas list,

Santa honey, I wanna yacht,

And really that's not a lot,

I've been an angel all year,Santa baby,

and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, there's one thing that I really need, The deed.

To a plex of my hand,

Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, fill my stocking with a rolex, And checks.

Sign your 'X' on the line,

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,

With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,

I really do believe in you,

Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, A ring.

I don't mean on the phone,

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry down the chimney tonight

*wink* *wink*

My birthday surprise. Ummm... A little blurry though. Oh well...

no surprise. *sigh*

Anthem...

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I've been blessed to make another year...
God bless those who don't.

Come get me. I wanna go home.

Whirlpool.
Going round and round
avoid the center.
The eye. Unknown. Dissapearing acts.
Fighting to stay afloat.
Struggling against the current.
Tired. Inevitable. No more struggle.
it's over

It was over before it started

whirlpool

Number 22

"boneable"

"Man Law: No man, no matter how manly, should be called a "'sport.'"

Man Laws, my favorite pasttime.

hmmmm...

Somebody's somebody

Somebody's someone

Some sweet lover's lover

I wanna be that one

Someone faithful to someone faithful

Someone kind to someone kind to me

Somebody to somebody who loves me

Who loves me

Spending all of my time

Spending all my time on me

"Mercy On Me"


Lord have mercy on my soul
For I have walked the sinful road
That I'm down on my knees
Lord have mercy on me, please

Jesus, I must confess
That in all my loneliness
I've forsaken and I've sinned
Leaving fragments of a man so broken

I could tell you what I've done
Or should I tell you where I went wrong?

Well the more that I start to play
My deceitful, evil ways
Keep on growing stronger by the day

Oh lord have mercy on my soul
For I have walked a sinful road
So I'm gonna get down on my knees
Beg forgiveness to help set me free
Lord have mercy on me, please

Mother Mary full of grace
In my weakness, I've lost faith
I've been careless, and I have been warned
And the devil inside me is torn
God bless the men that I have scorned

So don't let me fool around no more
Send your angels down to guide me through that door
Well I've gone and confessed my regrets
And I pray I'm not held in contempt
I'm so lost, and I need you to help me repent

Man Laws make my day.

"Man Law: No man should refer to his undergarments as 'manties.'"

I had a popsicle today.

The kind in plastic
blue, purple, red, orange, and all
push them up. squeeze it out
drink juices at the end.

I had a popsicle today.
Blue. Hot day.

Life is good!!!

Cuba Libre. Glass.
I introduce myself and think of you.
All of you.

Everything runs together to nothing.
Where am I? Here. There.
It's fun but it's not the same.
Is this what you like?
Is this what you want?

I can't seduce you away from...

I'm not sure, but I have stopped.
You're not feeling it. Okay.
Before it's too late.

I'm wrapped up in life.
So tight.can't breathe.can't see.

Stepping back, but then I
must tear somewhere, or break
through.

I can't breathe. yet.

I want to love you.

p.y.t

pretty. young. thang.


I don't believe in love anymore. My life is easier this way. Roses don't grow, but other flowers do. The sun doesn't shine, but the rain is soothing. My heart doesn't hurt. It beats. pumps blood through veins. The oxygen I breathe is all that sustains me. I don't believe in love anymore.

I don't have to.

live.laugh.love

the creation of a hall of fame... :P

I'm gonna "ease on down the road." lol

ran out of gas. lol

You're afraid to trust.
Me. You. Whatever.

Some people aren't fighters. Someone said.
You, instead. Let it quietly drizzle away
like the sand in an hour glass.

Cherish:
1. To treat with tenderness and affection; to nurture with care; to protect and aid.
2. To hold dear; to embrace with interest; to indulge; to encourage; to foster; to promote; as, to cherish religious principle

Every where I turn I see babies.

Sarah's teeny tiney 20 day little girl.
Mom's great idea to buy four books about babies...
Baby showers.

Babies
Babies
Babies.

Maybe it's something in the water.

Toxic relationships!'

When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch'(Matthew ) (15:14TM)

Your development, and in some cases your healing, can only take place when you walk with the right people! Remember the story of the scorpion that asked a frog to carry him across the river because he could not swim? How do I know you will not sting me? the frog asked. If I do, we'll both drown, he replied. So the scorpion hopped on. Half way across the river the scorpion stung him. As they were drowning the frog said, 'You promised you wouldn't. Why did you sting me? The scorpion replied, I cannot help it, it's my nature to sting.

Learn to recognize toxic relationships and walk away from them before they take you down with them. A toxic relationship is like a body part with gangrene; if you do not amputate, the infection will spread. Unless you have the courage to cut off what will not heal, you will end up losing much more. You cannot partner successfully with someone who does not share your goals. When you feel passionately about something but they do not, it is like trying to dance the fox trot withsomeone who only wants to waltz. You picked the wrong dance partner. Do not get tied up with someone who does not share your God-given purpose. Some issues can be corrected through teaching and leadership, but you cannot teach somebody to care. And if they do not care, they will infect your environment, ruin your productivity and break your rhythm with constant complaints.

So ask God, 'Who belongs in my life?'

A part of me wants to leave you alone.
A part of me wants for you to come home.
A part of me says I'm living a lie.
And I'm better off without you
A part of me says to think it through.
A part of me says I'm over you.
A part of me wants to say goodbye.
A part of me is asking why...

A part of me wants to leave.
But a part of me wants to be here with you.
And everytime I think we're over and done you do something to get me back loving you.
And you got me just torn.

Torn in between the two
Cuz I really wanna be with you.
But something's telling me I should leave you alone.
Leave you alone.
And you got me just torn in between the two
Cuz I really wanna be with you.
But something's telling me I should leave you alone.
Leave you alone.

There were no issues when we started out.
It was cool.
It was everything that love's about.
But something happened.
Plus I feel it's over now.
Cuz I can't understand you now.
I just can't understand you now.

A part of me says it's all my fault.
A part of me says "he ain't what you want."
A part of me says to get my bags.
A part of me says I can't do that.

So many times I... I was ready to go
So many times I... Had my foot out the door
So many times I... I thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man
Now I'm sitting here and I'm so confused.
Cuz I keep fighting myself for you.
I don't know how much more I can take but I can't feel this way
You got me so torn

I let you go the other day.
I even told you so.

I said my path is changing.
I'm growing up.

You told me you knew, but that I didn't.
I shook my head.

------------

How do you miss someone you never spoke to?
How do you miss someone so far in your past
...who knows nothing about your future?
How do you miss someone you never see?

How do I miss you?

I have to agree, my butt is pretty cute!

1 part coffee
5 parts milk
2 parts caramel
1/2 part sugar

stir well.
add friend.

I will never forget how to play the flute.
Or the automatic curfew of summer air condition.

I wish I still color coded burned cds.
Or mades cds with the same favorite song on every one.

I smile when I'm happy.
Or laugh after a cry.

I like a little bit of coffee with a whole lot of milk.
Or sweet tea that isn't so sweet at all.

I eat strawberry ice cream just for the whole strawberries.
Or peach cobbler for the crust.

...the things you remember in the summer time...

"If you judge someone, you have no time to love them."

It has finally died
and left a hollow center
of what used to be.

no explanations as to why
no excuses as for when

It's gone
can only mourn
its unnatural death

it's gone

I love you, I still do. But I can't have you...

n,mn,bnmn,mhfghfytfvgbhfgdfdgjk

exactly.

In medical terms, a “relapse” happens when you think you’ve suffered through the worst of an illness and feel like you’re on the road to recovery, until bam!—out of the blue, your symptoms return, sending you back to bed with a box of Kleenex.

-From a recent article on MSN talking about non-medical relapses...

If I had a pot and ingredients to add.
I would add a thing or two
Maybe attempt to scoop some out that is already in.

A little of this a little of that.
But after it all,
What would I have made?

I think I know what I want...
but when I get a taste
Will I be satisfied?

:-) Chinese dinner...

"hate" is such a strong word...

Either I am getting weaker
Or the temptation is getting stronger.

The good you find in others, is in you too.
The faults you find in others, are your faults as well.
After all, to recognize something you must know it.
The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well.
The beauty you see around you, is your beauty.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror
showing you the person you are.
To change your world, you must change yourself.
To blame and complain will only make matters worse.
Whatever you care about, is your responsibility.
What you see in others, shows you yourself.
See the best in others, and you will be your best.
Give to others, and you give to yourself.

Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful.
Admire creativity, and you will be creative.
Love, and you will be loved.
Seek to understand, and you will be understood.
Listen, and your voice will be heard.

Show your best face to the mirror,
and you'll be happy with the face looking back at you.

Conditions are NEVER just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing.

I should stop asking questions that I already know the answers to.

I don't even get disappointed anymore.
or sad.

resigned?
Maybe a little sad.

The illegal immigrant issue is driving me nuts.

illegal immigrant
someone who has entered a country by bypassing customs and immigration controls

Illegal immigration describes migration across national borders without complying with the legal requirements. Some people call those they suspect of illegally immigrating, "illegal immigrants" or "undocumented immigrants". People who arrive in a legal manner but then outstay their visas (that is the authorized time in the host country), may also have illegal status.

It's not that I don't have sympathy; I just don't understand how anyone can demand rights if they aren't even supposed to be here. This country was derived on immigration. Not necessarily "illegal" immigration.

With that said...

hysteria is too strong of a word,
confusion too tame.

What do you do when a person lies so much that you have to pick and choose which lies to call them out on?

The apologizer who is willing to do everything but not hurt you again, isn't very sorry at all.

Even the person who wasn't supposed to ever let me down, did.
*sigh*

I wish you could hold me.
And things would be like they were before...

Nothing hurts more...

El Arroyo is good food. If you're in Austin give it a try!

I hate when people are in my business!

Some people can never make decisions for themselves and must run and get everyone's opinions. It's one thing to want an honest opinion. It's another when you are really trying to
get people to say that you made the right decision. When will people understand that others talk and they only tell you what they think you want to hear. Then they go around behind your back and tell all your business and say how stupid you are. This is a continious cycle, yet people never learn.

I am tempted to feel sorry for those people who trust so-called friends, because it IS wrong for people to say one thing in your face and something entirely different behind your back. But then again, that's life and it is the fault of the person who must insist in putting their business out there.

I don't worry about it because I don't put myself out there. I just listen while people enjoy other's misery (which is a sad fact) and tell everyone else what's going on in other people's life. I'm glad that my friends can tell me when they think I am wrong and don't laugh behind my back.

They say the truth comes out with liquor.

I heard your truth tonight.
and even as the tears roll from my cheeks,
and I hear the hollow sound of water
I know they find comfort in my damp pillow.

What does not kill,
it makes me stronger.
And when you say that you are not in love,
I know I'll be okay.

When I try, and you yell.
When you say things to be hurtful,
When you attempt to bring me to my knees,
I know love, yet I don't know you.

I try to tell you how I feel,
you hang up, and I feel the disconnect.
Is it weak to love unconditionally?
Yet, I know that when I finally have love,
I'll recognize, hold on, and appreciate.

God has been my rock, my life,
he does not forsake. So while it hurts,
I must smile through,
Because only God knows my truth.

Who needs friends when evil shines through?
Love is not needed if it only abuses
Love is unconditional, I say and I truly believe.

Only a fool believes that she brings
the beatens of her loved one upon herself.
Only evil fails to control what can be controllen.

I cry, but I am not sad. I cry, but I am not happy.
I cry because I am, and I cry because it releases me
To not be understood is frustrating,
but to be thrown away is so real.

Who needs what can not be had?
I can't take, what God doesn't want me to keep.
My rock, my foundation, he rules me.
The queen that I am in my heart must not become the keep.

My dad he told me, that we could never be.
Yet for some reason I thought I knew more than he.
You are not me, and I not you.
I want so much more than what you can do.
You see, I want forever, and what it brings.
No need for hate and all of its strings.

Tomorrow will soon be yesterday.
And these tears I cry will go away.
And you, whom I'll never understand.
Will wash away like castles in the sand.

And even as I cry, I know your truth.
Your truth, is not me, and you say I'm not you.
I'll never understand why you carry on so.
It seems right and wrong does not make everyone grow.

What I feel is no longer a right, but a major wrong.
Love, I know, is unconditional and the tears are gone.
And even as lay on my wet pillow tonight.
I orgasm into my future, because tonight
tonight I learned your truth
and only God knows mine.

*sigh* Love is so confusing.

American Idol
The guys were much better than the girls. I had previously thought that there wasn't much competition between the boys, but it has difinitely heated up some this week. So here I am...harsh...and huge expectation. With that said, Let's go Play by Play.

Taylor: 9.0/10 Taylor is great if not a little weird. There was nothing wrong with this performance except it just didn't seem up to standards. A little disappointment when you expect so much.

Overall: I'm wondering if his whole routine will get old. I don't know but we all know he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. He is talented.

Ace: 8.0/10 Ace knows who loves him and he is definitely playing to the girls. This performance was boring and I thought he missed a couple of notes. He didn't grow from last week, but he still faces few problems at the moment. He could have done better.

Overall: Oh he's going to the finals, but he better hope Chris doesn't upstage him for the girl's attention.

Elliot: 9.5/10 This was a great performance. I was very impressed because it was a different song. I just love his soulful voice. Those ears! lol...He is a favorite of mine. He only improved from last week. As for next week, I want to see something different.

Overall: He has so much potential. Goofy, but cute. I see him being around for a long time.

Gedeon: 9.5/10 Gedeon really knocked me over with surprise. Last week he was good but I was not impressed with attempting to show talent with a song like "Shout." This week he really out did himself. I think he really shook things up for me. His voice is amazing, BUT... I want to see more personality. He talked about forgetting the words and that's great, but talk to me about that smile. Tell me something I want to know!

Overall: I had thought he didn't have much of a chance for the finals, but I don't now. He should make it to next week and then he better give it all he's got.

Kevin: 8.0/10 He wasn't bad, but he wasn't good either. The song started out okay, but nothing ground shaking or spectacular. He seems nice enough. The song was fairly consistent throughout, but it was missing a little extra. The judges talk to him like they feel sorry for him.

Overall: Kevin is riding on his geekiness, which isn't enough to be in the finals. I wouldn't send him home this week, but if he doesn't prove that there is more to him that that, he needs to go home.

Sway: 7.5/10 I liked this performance okay. He has a good voice and I think he is underrated. The thing is...he doesn't seem to have very much confidence in himself and when he should really use his range, he doesn't. The song was consistent and pretty good. He is comparable to Kevin but he lacks confidence.

Overall: I really want to hear him one more time, but if he goes home it wouldn't hurt my feelings.

Will: 7.5/10 On the boring side. He has a deeper voice thought. He has potential but tonight was not a good night in my opinion. It was not something you would remember. I was a fan last week.

Overall: I think he has a bid for the finals but he needs to watch it. If someone was to slip in unexpectedly he could lose his spots.

Bucky: 7.0/10 I am not a fan and this didn't change my mind. He just seems a little lost to me. He lacks personality. Kinda scruffy which doesn't usually bother me. He seems so one dimensional. I would send him home after tonight.

Overall: Going home would be great. I would send him home tomorrow.

David: 7.0/10 Not bad song choice and okay singing. He just isn't that great in general. His personality is a little bland to top it off. He missing something and I'm not sure what it is. Maybe he could figure that out at home.

Overall: There is usually a reason a certain website endorses you. He just doesn't have enough to last.

Chris: 9.5/10 It was a great performance! A little on the predictable but great nevertheless. I wish Chris and Ace would switch a little bit. I want Chris to sing in the girls ear a little. I just want to see it, but I don't have to.

Overall: Oh we know he's going to the finals and he'll be around. So where are the surprises going to be found? I want a surprise.

These are my opinions. Feel free to tell me about yours!

The Girls were a disappointment tonight.
Well the girls overall were pretty boring and all out dissapointing. In my opinion, the girls who did well last week were the most dissapointing. Some of the other girls that really needed to bring it-Melissa-definitely did that. I am very harsh and hard to please, but that's life. With that said...Let's go play by play:

Katherine: 7.0/10 While she wasn't bad, she wasn't good either. She was boring because she sang a safe song. If it wasn't for last week, I wouldn't even remember her.

Overall: I want to see something different from her, but she still deserves to be in the finals.

Kinnik: 6.5/10 This girl can sing! However, she didn't sing last night. I don't know what that was...maybe a lame attempt to get some attention. She looked like a grown woman trying to play a kids game. I loved her last week and thought the judges were to harsh. She can hit some amazing notes and has great range. She needs to stick with what she does best.

Overall: I don't think she deserves to go home this week, but she's going to have to pull something amazing next week to make it to the finals. I am a fan though.

Lisa: 7.5/10 The only real problem Lisa had was her song choice. It just didn't sound right. She seems to pick really different songs in really different arrangements. I personally think it's working to her advantage, but I can't help but wonder what would happen if she sung a song in a way that the audience could recognize. I think she wouldn't measure up and it would become obvious, but hey you never know.

Overall: She isn't going anywhere. I was a fan but I am starting to have a few doubts. I want to see an outstanding performance soon.

Melissa: 9.0/10 Wow! This was amazing. Her voice is so different and the song was perfect for her. Much better from last week. I don't know why the Simon was harsh (he was a little cranky). I'm glad to see she has potential.

Overall: I have my doubts about her overall, but she should make it to next week. While this performance was impressive, she still lacks range. I'm very curious about next week though.

Heather Cox: 6.0/10 Bad song choice! The worst song choice! You can't help be disappoined when she goes against somebody like Mariah Carey. At the end of the song, the audience can't help but notice what was missing. Not much attention can be paid to what was there.

Overall: She isn't very memorable and her voice doesn't stand out. Not saying she can't sing. Just saying she needs to go home.

Brenna Gethers: 5.5/10 Not only can she not sing, but she has a horrible attitude. She has not shown America once that she even deserves to be where she is. Yet, she has this inflated ego that makes me want to puke. She cuts off the judges when they are trying to help. Rude! I'm not going to even mention the freaky smiles and poses.

Overall: She should have gone home last week and I'm mad for giving her a second chance. Her attitude puts me in a bad mood.

Paris: 8.5/10 I love Paris and she's my favorite but it was definitely the wrong song. I kept expected the unexpected throughout the song and it never happened. Don't get me wrong, it was still great. I think I'm being the harshest on her rating because I just plain expected more.

Overall: She has long range potential. I hope she doesn't play it safe next week but I don't want to see the same thing from last week either. Surprise me.

Ayla: 8.5/10 Her vocals were good, but there was no connection for me. She picked an okay song, but it was still safe. I want to see her with the straight hair for some reason. I also want to see her sing something where she can throw her hair in a pony tail (a messy bun may be to far) and just get down.

Overall: She likes to play it safe. I think she has a good shot for the finals, but there a few that could sneak up on her. The best bet would to go for the surprise next week.

Kellie: 9.0/10 I thought her performance was good. She puts lots of emotion in her singing and she has good range even if she doesn't have the best voice. I thought she looked great too. However, I think she is fake and she annoys me.

Overall: She won't meet her match until the finals. She has a big fan base but when the boys and girls are combined she may be one of the few that will have a problem.

Mandisa: 9.0/10 It was a good performance even though I did not like the song. Mandisa obviously has the range and the vocals, but people are going to get tired of her shouting at us. I like Mandisa although she isn't a huge favorite of mine. I want something softer from her.

Overall: She has the vocals for the finals and she has a great personality. I think she deserves to go far.

What do you think? These are my opinions. Feel free to share your opinions.

Why am I always sad?

People yell and talk crazy.
Grind and talk through their teeth,
throw things.

It makes me feel like shit.
I guess that's the point.

I love my job.
Kinda.

It makes me feel smart.
Kinda.

It's lots of fun.
Sometimes.

lol *snort**snort* (Did you just snort? No...)

My mouth hurts...

Pouting for a reason.

Computers make me itch...
*scratch* *scratch*